Dominon 1×02 Recap – The Snark Edition

This is a warning, a disclaimer and a declaration of love all rolled into one. Because the fact that these recaps are full of snark and what may seem to be criticism doesn’t mean that I don’t love Dominion – quite on the contrary. If I didn’t love the show as much as I do, I wouldn’t be taking the time and effort to do this.
Please read these recaps as a humorous, tongue-in-cheek attempt to pay homage to a show that I think it wonderfully written, acted, shot and produced. ‘Nuff said. Now go away or dare read on at your own peril.

1×02 Godspeed

or
How the archangels explored the seaside

Previously on Dominion. Alan Dale’s turn this time to say it, cause I think they’re rotating it for every episode. Which is a nice touch.

So let’s see what happened last time around. Casino!Angel attacked Alex in his car. Lower angels need to steal human bodies to exist on earth and help Gabriel in his ploy to kill humanity. Only the Chosen One can stop it. Alex wanted to marry Claire, but their plan circled the drain. Jeep came back. Gabriel gathered new forces. Three higher angels attacked the city, reactor went boom. David wanted Helena’s Air Force, and William would help him rule Vega after getting married to Claire. Jeep was killed, Arika arrested. Alex was revealed as the Chosen One and William is a Black Acolyte. That concludes the pilot episode in round about 90 seconds.

Idyllic father/son bonding scene in the middle of nowhere. Jeep and a young Alex play basketball in the backyard of a house. A flock of birds suddenly soaring in the air gives them a warning that something’s up. Jeep draws two handguns and sends Alex inside just as two lower angels crawl over the roof of the adjacent building. The Angel!Spiders on steroids are back.

Alex barricades himself inside the house and gets a shotgun from the safe. He obviously knows how to use it. Looks like Jeep’s been doing some serious weapons training with the kid.

Outside, Jeep has his hands full with the Eight-balls. There’s at least three of them, and they mean business. Takes a while, but Jeep finishes them all, the last one of them quite violently right in front of Alex’s eyes.

1x02_Lupins

“I thought you left me,” Alex intones when Jeep comes find him.
“I’ll never leave you,” Jeep hugs him. Liar.

I can’t help but wonder how old Alex was in this scene. He looked more like thirteen, but we know Jeep left him when he was eleven. How does that work? But other than that, I thought they cast young Alex very well.

Little bit of TeeJay Trivia: At one point, I may or may not have perused screencaps and slo-mo video of this scene to figure out whether Jeep was already bearing the tattoos on his body. Cause apparently my brain is shit and couldn’t retain the information that in Legion, Michael transferred the tattoos to Jeep’s body even before Alex was born. Somehow I assumed it happened at a later point, and I was curious when it might have been. Gold star for the Dominion continuity watchdogs, cause there’s one shot in this scene where you just get a tiny glimpse of the tattoos on Jeep’s neck.

Segue to Jeep’s burial in Vega, present time. A distraught Alex is watching the proceedings from a safe distance. There’s hardly anyone there, which is weird. I count, like, six AA Corps soldiers and maybe a priest who’s on about safe passage on his journey while Jeep’s body is being burned on a stack of logs. Where is everyone?! Where is Michael, dammit? You can’t tell me Jeep didn’t have one single soul left in Vega who cared about him? Somehow it doesn’t seem fair.

Rumour has it there was more to this scene than they showed on TV. Let’s hope it’s a deleted scene on the DVD.

There’s also one thing I noticed, which annoyed me at first. In the pilot, we see some of the tattoos rising up Alex’s neck right up to behind his ears, the same way Jeep used to have them. In this and all subsequent episodes, we don’t see any trace of the neck tattoos. It screamed “continuity error” to me at first, but we also learn that the tattoos can move. Hence, I’ve decided not to let it bother me and go with the moving tats explanation.

In the Senate session, Whele is doing what he usually does: Stir up a racket and divide opinions. He’s not well liked by most, but Riesen backs him up this time. Change of heart, General? Something’s wrong with this picture.

Alex gives himself Dutch courage with a bottle of what is presumably whisky. He looks at the tattoos again, tries to rub them off. News flash, Alex. They’re not felt pen drawings. Not by a long shot. Drunk-delusional, much?

1x02_PantrySpirits

And as if Alex’s judgment isn’t already wonky at the best of times, he decides to go see Claire. Yeah, not such a great idea when you’re sloshed. He wants to grab Claire and leave. Right now. Déjà vu? Is it really such a surprise that she doesn’t want to go? I wanna cheer Claire on for giving him the chop.

1x02_Twilight

Riesen and Whele meet in Whele’s office, and I’m distracted by a bowl of at least 20 shiny, green apples in the background. Opulence aside, but that seems a bit excessive even for House Whele. Lions don’t eat apples, do they?

But anyway, Riesen and Whele seem to have some sort of mutual agreement to have each other’s backs. Why am I not surprised? Is there any government in the world that is above nepotism? And speaking of apples and lions, Whele feeds the guard who was present at the bunker to Samson. That’s one way of shutting someone up. Whele creeps me out more than ever.

In Gabriel’s lair, they’re celebrating some sort of ritual that involves humans moulded into ochre Jell-O mummies. Watch closely, and you’ll recognize Roan in the background. I’m a little confused. If he’s a higher angel, why doesn’t he have wings? Or does he, and we’ve just never seen them? Also, how come higher angels have a kid’s body? Do higher angels age like humans do? And can you actually eat the ochre Jell-O? So many questions!

1x02_JellOShots

Gabriel is being mind-invaded by someone. Or something. He starts zoning out. What’s that all about? And, hey, look, more angel orgies. That’s kinda creepy too.

Now, yay! One of my all time favourite scenes is coming up. And I actually mean it. That rocky terrain by the seaside is stunning, especially when combined with wingporn. I wanna be there—with or without wings. Only thing I hate about it is that for some reason, they horizontally flipped the close-ups, as evidenced by the placement of Tom Wisdom’s facial birthmarks. I mean, WTF? Why?! It just seems weird and baseless. And it bothered me enough to actually unflip it.

But technical gripes aside, this is what Gabriel’s weird zone-out was about. Michael summoned him to have a little brotherly chat. Tom Wisdom is squinting so hard against the bright sunlight that I wanna slap a pair of sunglasses on him.

1x02_RedPill

The gist of the story here is that Gabriel’s jealous of the humans and how their Father is favouring them over the angels. Michael thinks Gabriel is delusional. Still, Gabriel gets a well-placed jibe in about Michael being dispensable, now that the Chosen One has been revealed. Meh, misguided self-doubt doesn’t look attractive on Michael.

So… it looks like Whele locked up the Helenians. And apparently they can’t afford proper underwear underneath their lilac bed sheets, cause they’re wearing purple wraparound rags that look really tight and uncomfortable. My belief that I don’t want to live in Helena is strengthened by this very fact, but maybe that’s what you need to content yourself with in post apocalyptic North America.

Arika is trying to keep cool, while the other lady is accusing her of being at fault for their situation. And then Whele beckons Arika to his office. He still wants Helena’s Air Force. Arika still doesn’t want to give it to him. God, the women on this show rule!

Claire and Ed are having a father-daughter talk. Another one. There’s food, too. Why is there always food when we see the V6es? So he wants her to become a politician. And to marry William, of course. She says, “Screw you,” (well, not in so many words) and runs off. Alan Dale goes down in history as the actor with the most heart problem roles ever.

All the secrets come out eventually on this show. Edward knows Claire is in love with Alex. Noma knows Alex is banging Claire. Love triangle stuff in the making, right? Alex is being reassigned as security detail at House Whele. Hm… Riesen’s punishment?

1x02_SheHotNoma

Then Michael comes along and drags Alex into the Stratosphere tower. Literally drags him up. Through the air. Ouch. Might be fun, too. Kinda like a rollercoaster ride with a twist. Doesn’t look like Alex had fun, though.

So Gabriel knows that Alex is the Chosen One, which means he’s in danger. Alex isn’t so easily intimidated. And hold on… I think they messed up the timeline here. Alex says, “I was able to read one of the tattoos last night.” So you’re telling me that everything we’ve seen in this episode up to now has happened during one day? No, that can’t be right. There was Jeep’s funeral, which was at night. There was the drunk scene, which was at night. There was breakfast with Bixby at House Riesen. Oh well, never mind. We’ll just ignore this, shall we? Yeah. Moving on.

Let me just mention that I’m sure the Malex shippers had a field day with this scene. See for yourself.

1x02_NowKiss

Alex reports for duty, and we learn that Ethan works for House Whele too. David lets out the smarm again, which makes shudders run down my spine. He reveals to Alex that before the war started, he was a tele-evangelist. I mean, fuck me, that’s the one thing about David Whele I can honestly believe without even a fraction of a doubt. In fact, it’s so perfect I can actually see it in front of my mind’s eye right now.

1x02_NudgeNudge

1x02_NettleCut to the street market. A woman is handing over a flower pot with a painted nettle, and I rejoice because I have one too—on the window sill in my office. Which is dying. I think my colleague overwatered it when I was out on my three week vacation. It’s making me really sad, because I love that purple nettle. But anyway…

William and Alex have a chat about fame and charity. Who’d have pegged William to actually have a soft spot for the underprivileged? I’m starting to like him a little better, although I can’t shake the feeling that there’s still something untrustworthy about the guy.

Riesen has confided his congestive heart failure to Becca, and only Becca. Is she his personal physician, or something? Also, apparently he seems to be going outside the walls every few weeks, but he doesn’t wanna say why. Something’s cookin’.

The Helenians are still in prison, creating light green chalk powder by scratching their fingernails on the concrete floor. Those crazy women and their weird rituals. What’s that all about, then? But, a-ha, apparently it’s poison. How sneaky. Is it on purpose that Arika doesn’t have green nails?

Meanwhile, Alex bumps into the Riesen’s housekeeper. Quite literally. China falls and splinters. Unfortunately, Alex’s sleeve rides up when he helps pick it up, and she sees the tattoos. Uh oh, busted! And then, oh shit! She unfurls a set of wings.

Commercial break. Screw this.

General Riesen seeks advice from Michael. Or vice versa? When Riesen asks how Alex will factor into the war, Michael answers, “My hope is: decisively.” Uhm… duh? Could you be any vaguer, dude? And, heh, it’s kinda ironic that Michael is asking for fatherly guidance to tutor Alex. Guess social astuteness was never Michael’s forte.

1x02_BirdsAndBees

Claire is keeping a diary. Wonder what’s in it.

1x02_ClaireDiary

Surprise, surprise, Alex and Claire make up.

NowKiss

And then they do. And there’s all the sweet make-up sex, too. The tattoos are sexy as hell, and I’m not even into Chris Egan.

1x02_SheHotClaire

No cigarette after, just something that may be leading up to an awkward goodbye in the hallway. They run into Bixby, which foregoes that, but, whoopsies, there’s the housekeeper and her set of badass wings.

Commercial break again. Are you effin’ kidding me?! One “viewer discretion advised” announcement later (Yeah, get on with it already, I know, okay? I’m over 18. Way, way over.), fighting ensues. Lots of heavy angel-style fighting. Claire and Bixby are drawn back to the scene by the racket, and a razor-sharp angel feather slices Bixby’s gut. Claire is knocked out. Shit!

It’s only Alex’s fast thinking that gets them out alive. Setting the angel’s wings on fire, he literally kicks her out the window. She still flies off. Don’t ask me how.

Things come to a head (pun fully intended) when Arika presents David with her master plan. The chalk powder poison was a martyr ploy. The bed sheet ladies are all dead save for Arika. And she’s gonna blame their deaths on David. He knows he’s lost this fight, which is all kinds of awesome. Oh, I like Arika already!

1x02_FunkyChicken

Back in his quarters, Alex is ready to bail. Claire wants to come. Alex doesn’t. No make-up sex this time.

1x02_Twilight2

Housekeeper!Angel reports to Gabriel to confirm that Alex is indeed the Chosen One. Wait. Why does he need confirmation? And, uhm, Gabriel’s smile creeps me out almost as much as David’s does.

The dilapidated remains of the Luxor just outside the city walls shine in the dim moonlight. Riesen walks up the stairs to a discordant French chanson in the background. He walks into what looks like a haphazard wardrobe storage room that’s too heavy on the net lace end of the spectrum.

He places a jar of honey on the table. Her favourite, he announces. A practically naked woman with long, black hair comes into view. And there’s your big cliffhangery reveal: She’s an Eight-ball. And she kisses Edward. Whoa, WTF?!

1x02_SheHotClementine

And, yes, of course we have to wait until next week to see what that’s all about. Wa-hay!

Last but not least, I’ll leave you with the Adventures of the Almighty Archangels. See ya for episode 3!

1x02_SeaMonsterComic

Scatter some angel dust

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